A recent report in an Indian newspaper described a woman’s brave move to call off her wedding after the allegedly drunk groom started an ignominious nagin (snake) dance on the dance floor. Although this dance form, involving weird moves and awkward hissing sounds, has become the current trend in Indian weddings, sometimes it can have bitter consequences if overdone. Arranged marriages have witnessed many reasons such as dowry issues, general incompatibility, and appearance issues to be called off. But this is the first time that a woman has stuck to her decision of not marrying the groom for his cringe-worthy nagin dance at the wedding venue.
The incident that occurred at Shahjahanpur, India, wherein a drunk groom suddenly commenced an embarrassing nagin dance, slithering and hissing on the dance floor with his friends showering money on him, got on the nerves of the 23 year old bride who immediately called off the wedding as the entire incident was extremely humiliating and demeaning for her to view. The groom’s family tried their best to convince her, and even threatened her to marry the guy, but the bride stood firm and refused to budge to their threatening and pleading. Her family, although at first attempted at convincing her, later stood by her decision and said a firm no to the groom. Expecting possible violence at the venue, even the police were summoned. A day later, the girl tied the knot with a more sober mate.
Reflecting upon such scandalous incidents taking place in the country, the bride’s bold decision is a lesson for all the grooms who might try to attempt such things at their weddings. Even today in India many arranged marriages take place against the complete will of the girl or guy, more often than not forced by elders of the family who consider the match to be an excellent one. In such cases, both girls and boys give in to the familial pressure and regret the same for their entire life. Girls, especially, give in faster to their family’s decision and often become victims of domestic violence and abuse. Many a times they succumb to such atrocities, never voicing them out to the guy’s family or their own, and silently bear all the humiliation. This is completely wrong, but helpless as they are, they stick to their abusive marriages for the fear of being disowned by the groom’s family.
But this incident is an awakening example of how you can prevent yourself from becoming a victim of domestic violence and abuse, or sharing your life with the wrong person, by listening to your heart at the “right” moment and saving yourself a lifelong embarrassment and agony. Genuineness or sincerity of the family members does not always guarantee the same about the guy. He may be someone completely different from inside even if his family accord him to be the best person one can ever find.
So dear ladies, do not get carried away by “the family is extremely well to do,” or “they are genuinely nice people” kind of statements. Traditional values are always entrenched in society and people do imbibe and follow them. This does not mean that the guy whom you plan to tie the knot with also accepts and follows the same. If you notice anything humiliating or intolerable in the guy’s attitude, do not hesitate to put your foot firm and say “NO” to him.