January 13, 2017, was the day I decided to finally get serious about my weight loss goals. Weighing 181lbs at a whopping 5’2”, I knew things had to change. I finally stopped and looked at myself in the mirror – only I struggled to recognize and connect with the me staring back. The truth is, I’d never really connected with her… My weight loss journey, set in motion a transformation from the inside out, that I’d never seen coming.
My childhood was far from ideal. Being the daughter of 1st generation desi parents, came with a whole host of questionable norms. Now, being desi is not a prerequisite for not being able to connect with oneself — but there does seem to be a correlation. “My people” are notorious for treating life as a series of checkpoints with very little, if any, focus on our internal world.
My decision to become a Life Coach was largely driven by the work I did to get my mindset right.
What do I mean by ‘get my mindset right’? I mean, the work I did to truly understand me.
- Why do I do the things I do?
- Why don’t I do the things I know I should do?
- Why do all my relationships feel so similar?
- Why do I feel so overwhelmed by my kids?
- Why does ‘xyz’ upset me, piss me off, or shut me down?
- Why don’t I feel happy?
Healing for me has meant connecting with, understanding, and soothing my younger self. It meant tapping into the parts of me in hiding – because, at times, hiding felt safest. It also meant sitting in discomfort and allowing myself to listen to what it is my emotions are guiding me towards. This has meant having to learn how to trust myself and to see my worth beyond my degrees.
What do things look like now?
For starters, I finally see me.
- I trust and love myself.
- I show myself grace when things don’t go as planned.
- Choosing happiness every day, continues to get easier and easier.
- I understand that only I get to define and redefine me, as often as I choose.
- I recognize that no emotion is bad, and that there is growth and healing in truly experiencing what we feel.
- I’ve regained control of my mind, and aim to be as intentional as I can with the thoughts I choose to entertain.
- I recognize that life is always happening for us.
- I am healthier than ever. (I even ran a half marathon in 2018!)
- I’ve healed much of my co-dependent ways.
- I’ve ditched the ‘guilt culture’ I had unknowingly inherited.
- I’ve gotten a handle on the BS self-talk that would run laps in my mind, constantly.
- I make healthier choices, most of the time — this includes a morning routine I never pictured myself looking forward to, every day.
- I even set boundaries.
I’ve broken the cycle of intergenerational trauma!
If any of this resonates with you, I urge you to consider embarking on your own self-discovery journey. Seek support, get uncomfortable, and free yourself from the thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors that stifle your ability to live your life as your best, most authentic self.
Nina is a former Social Worker (MSW), turned SAHM, turned certified Life Coach — and coming this fall, a children’s book author. She is committed to helping parents connect with the kids they have, and heal the kid they once were. Her loves include; her daughters, their cat, leggings, nature, cooking, baking… and pizza!